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Stefano Langone: If You Don’t Know Me By Now

Stefano Langone: Lately

Broken Friendship?

It was almost a year since Zack and Caleb spoke to each other and today they accidentally ran into each other at a shopping mall. Wondering whether they should talk to each other, they cast awkward glances at each other as they browsed through the mall. It is funny how two friends who were once inseparable were complete strangers now…

Friendship is perhaps one of the most beautiful relationships that two people can share. Friendship is about sharing each other’s opinions, dreams, fears, aspirations and hopes. Friendship is about engaging conversations, which go on and on as friends lose track of time. Friendship is about cherishing old memories of togetherness and creating new ones everyday. Although when you watch friends hanging out and having a great time it seems as if these people just belong together, friendship does require a sound mutual understanding with lots and lots of love and care for each other.

Often when you see people who were once inseparable and have later moved on to part ways, you think what could’ve gone so terribly wrong between them that they can’t even stand each other? Can a friendship that starts with ‘ no sorry no thank you’ and reaches the ‘friends forever’ stage end on a bitter note? The reasons for a broken friendship might be many, but most often when people look back at their broken friendships, they regret it. If you have ever lost a friend due to a petty fight or any other differences, then jus read through these broken friendship quotes. You might want to give your friendship another shot…

    Moving on is simple, what you leave behind that makes it difficult.

    A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

    A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

    You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends

    If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile… But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.

    We always thought we’d look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we’d look back on our laughter and cry.

    A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight

    A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

    Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. ~ Belgicia Howell

    Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding.~ Sri Chinmoy

    Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.”

    Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. ~ G. Randolf

    My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. ~ Lee Iacocca

    Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest… It’s about who came, and never left your side.

    There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. ~ Lord Buddha

    It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise.

    The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship. ~ Sir Francis Bacon

    We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on.” ~ Amy Marie Walz

So if you have a friend with whom you’ve fought for some reason or have simply lost touch due to your busy schedules, then its time to give them a call or meet up. Life is too short to hold grudges and harbor bitterness, cherish the people who have been with you and are always with you …Friends are always friends no matter what, every friendship goes through its good and bad phases, but remember that you can make a difference by taking the first step and bridging the gap…What are you waiting for? 

Reaching the goals of your life

You can reach the goals of your life by zeroing in on what is most important to you and by taking steps each day to move closer to the goals you set for yourself. We get to a certain point in life when we feel the need to sort through the clutter of our lives and to pick out what is really important.

Instead of scattering our efforts to the four winds, we want to see the fruits of our labor. Setting goals and determining a path up to our goals isn’t easy, but it is the foundation of being happy and productive

Here are some tips to help you determine the most important areas to apply your efforts and to take positive steps toward achieving what is most important to you:

1. Work at identifying your priorities. Writing them down is part of the commitment.

2. Evaluate how you make decisions. Perhaps it is your decision making process that needs an overhaul at this current stage of your life. Re-approaching with an attitude toward making better decisions can transform your life.

3. Differentiate between the areas of your life that you have control of and the areas you have little or no control of. Factor that reality into how you go about responding to your mistakes.

4. Consider how you communicate with the significant people in your life. Is there something you can do differently in your communication style to enable you to reach your goals with these important people in the picture? That is an area that can work wonders for you.

5. Take action on your life so that you can like yourself. Do good deeds, help others, keep your commitments, and show the people who care about that they are important to you. Staying up to date with these areas of your life will enable you to like yourself. You will want to keep that feeling going.

6. Read books by respected authorities on the topics that are your areas of need: personal finance, relationships, job hunting, raising children, etc.
Take time for yourself so that you can reflect on these concepts and benefit from your reading and time for though.

7. Praise yourself for good decisions. If you are learning from your mistakes, you will be taking pleasure or pride in that ability.

8. Explore resources of one-on-one help from trained professionals.

9. Work on accepting praise and compliments gracefully. This comfortable handling of success can spill over into how you can handle criticism and conflict.

10. Don’t dwell on mistakes. Take specific note of what you could have done differently and then move on.

11. Think ahead to the kinds of decisions you may need to make in the future. Approach them with a plan and an improved attitude toward avoiding conflict.

12. Keep a journal. It may be time well spent if processing your situations in the act of writing about them can help you later. This can help you commit to your goals and keep you accountable to them. Writing can also help you feel grateful for the things that are solid and goal-supporting in your life.

Remember: You are going for “Progress….. Not Perfection.”
Take good care of yourself so that you are in a vigorous state of health to live life to the fullest on your way to reaching those goals you set for yourself. Remember, you will make mistakes from time to time. The challenge is to benefit from your mistakes and to save your time and energy for moving forward to reach your most important goals.

Get out there and live your life, knowing that life is a struggle. Get out there and do what you want to do and need to do and then come home to a place where you can rest and recharge.This recharging process produces more motivation and energy to keep you willing and able to stay in step on your chosen path.

Knowing yourself better, as a result of this learning process, can allow you to be you and to be happier and happier as the years go on

5 questions that tell you if it’s meant to be

You know that, “So, what do you do?” and “Where are you from?” aren’t exactly the most scintillating questions to ask on a date — nor do they actually give you any juicy information about the person sitting across from you. If you really want to know whether you have good chemistry and long-term potential here, you need to probe harder than that. But what kind of questions do you ask? We asked three dating experts to help us dig through all the small talk to come up with five no-nonsense queries that reveal a lot more than they let on. Don’t worry, there are no right or wrong answers. “You’re not looking for your clone,” says Laurie Seale, author of The Questions to Ask Before You Jump into Bed. “You’re judging whether someone shares your values and goals to see whether they’d be a good long-term partner.” And if not — if his or her answers are so wacky and opposite of what you believe that you don’t think you’ll last through the next 50 minutes, never mind the next 50 years — then at least you’ve had an evening of interesting conversation!

Below, we share the best questions to ask.

Question #1: “If your company gave one-year paid sabbaticals, what would you do for that year?”
Maybe he’d run off to a remote island in the Pacific, or start his own business. Maybe she’d spend her days working in a soup kitchen. Whatever your date answers, “This is a very revealing question, and a perfect one to ask on a first date,” says Seale. “It reveals your date’s true passions and priorities, showing you whether he or she is selfless, selfish, or overly ambitious.” You’ll also learn what this person cares about but isn’t making time for right now. “Your follow-up question should be, ‘Are you doing anything like that right now?’” says Seale. “Obviously she can’t spend every day in the soup kitchen, but does she volunteer on weekends?” And who knows — maybe you’ll wind up bonding over your secret desire to track down rare African birds or start your own Klezmer band.

Question #2: “Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?”
Is she secure enough to laugh at the time she gave a huge work presentation with ketchup on her shirt? Can he share the embarrassment of falling on Rollerblades while trying to impress an ex? It’s not the actual activity that matters — you want to know whether your date can be vulnerable around you early on. “If your date admits to, say, trying out for American Idol and bombing big-time, at least you know that person doesn’t take things too seriously,” admits Diane Mapes, author of How to Date in a Post-Dating World. And remember: If someone’s willing to share his or her private failures, you need to be ready to share some of your most embarrassing moments as well. In fact, it’s probably best if you spill the beans first; one easy way to do that is to say, “First dates make me kind of nervous, but I always remind myself that it pales in comparison to the time I took a crack at being a soccer goalie — and got hit squarely in the face!”

Question #3: “If your house were on fire, what’s the one thing you’d make sure to save?”
Want to learn whether your date is sentimental or practical? Find out whether he’d rescue his grandfather’s pocket watch or his laptop, says Sharyn Wolf, author of So You Want to Get Married: Guerilla Tactics for Turning a Date into a Mate. “This question gives you a sense of what’s valuable to someone and whether your values coincide,” she explains. Make sure to ask why your date would grab that particular item — you may find she’d grab her college diaries because those were amazing years when she learned (and recorded) so much about life, or that he’d grab his vinyl record collection since he adores being a DJ at parties. And if you’re wondering how you bring up such an odd topic, consider an opener, like: “I have a lot of interests and hobbies, but what’s truly close to my heart is fishing. In fact, my tackle box is the first thing I’d grab if my house were burning down. That, and my first edition of Jack London’s Call of the Wild. How about you?”

Question #4: “What’s the biggest misperception people have about you?”
Maybe your date will say that everyone thinks he or she is snobby and stuck-up when the truth is, this person is really just shy. It’s a good thing to know — especially if you’ve been sitting across from your date thinking just that. “You’ll get a sense of how the person views him- or herself,” explains Wolf. “And it gives you the chance to take a step back and re-think your opinion on the spot.” This is a great first-date question, particularly if you make the disclosure first, says Wolfe. Say, for example: “Sometimes people think I talk too much, but I just tend to babble when I am nervous. Is there anything you do that you think gives people an off-base first impression of you?” This gives you the opportunity to clear up any misperceptions your date might have about you, while also helping you know your “real” date without having to pry.

Question #5: “What’s the one life experience you want a do-over on?”
Here’s your chance to learn a juicy tidbit about your date’s past. Does he secretly wish he went to culinary school instead of law school? Does she rue the day she gave up her pet cat to clinch that great “no pets” apartment? Everyone’s got some regrets, and they speak tons about someone’s character. Not sure how to segue into this heavy question? You’re best off warming someone up first with your own confession, whether it’s about how you wished you’d taken a year off after college just to travel or had to quit a bad job before it became a really, really bad job. Just say, “I’m pretty happy with how things are going right now, but the one thing I always wished I’d done differently is _______. How about you?”

10 things we always take for granted

You wake up one morning and realize that you’re terribly late for work. What do you do? You spring out of bed, hop on your feet, slap together a crude sandwich and dash out the door. After arriving to your workplace – in one piece hopefully – you surreptitiously sneak into your seat only to be approached by your boss. You quickly fabricate a seemingly legitimate reason for your tardiness, “there was a marching band full of seniors crossing the road next to my driveway. Sheesh! Can you believe it?” Your boss looks at you with a gaunt expression on his/her face and finally smiles and says “don’t you remember? I gave you the day off today!”

As hinted within the story above, people have an innate tendency to take some of their abilities for granted. Oftentimes, we overlook the remarkable features that are ingrained within our daily lives. This list will cover 10 such attributes, which are deemed the most conspicuous traits that distinguish us from most brute animals.

10 Bipedalism - On average, humans begin walking at approximately one year of age. Our ability to learn how to walk exclusively on two legs, regardless of age, is an astonishing feat in and of itself. The very act of walking has allowed us to free up the use of our arms, and in turn, permits us to wield a wide array of tools. Bipedalism not only liberates our arms, but the remainder of our bodies as well. Instead of having our heads positioned parallel to the ground like our quadrupedal relatives, humans have eyes perpendicular to the world below, and thus, possess a broadened view of the world around us.

Walking on two legs also consumes far less energy than walking on all fours (or even knuckle dragging for that matter). As a result, our minds are less occupied with the need of a constant meal, and are instead left to wander and think about things other than food.

9 Fine Motor Skills - More than a handful of people here have suffered from a broken wrist or finger, and most will agree that these types of injuries are extremely debilitating (especially if you’ve incapacitated your dominant hand). A broken hand would make everything from typing on the keyboard to making a sandwich much more difficult to do. We must therefore remember to pay homage – or at least be thankful for – the anatomical makeup of our arms. To start, we should become aware of the importance of our opposable thumbs. Humans share this feature with other primates meaning that we are all capable of using our thumbs to touch any other digit on our hands, from index to pinky.

“So what? Why is that so important?” You may ask. The answer to that question lies in the fact that our hands have the ability to perform fine/precise tasks such as gripping a pencil, or typing on a keyboard. Imagine a world devoid of pencils and keyboards, or worse, a world abundant with pencils and keyboards but humans being unable to use them. It would be a scary world indeed.

8 Mathematics - Have you ever stopped to gape at the jaw dropping majesty of some of humanity’s products of ingenuity? From the Great Pyramids and the Eiffel tower, to the nuts and bolts holding your chair in place, people have utilized their understanding of mathematics since the dawn of civilization itself. Math has even been used as a tool for seemingly profound feats such as calculating the escape velocity of our planet in hopes of one day overcoming it (and we eventually did).

Other than its vital application to engineering and rocket science, we also make use of it in a more mundane, everyday fashion. Whenever we are counting the change we’ve received from the store, or anticipating our delayed arrival back from work, we are using mathematics.

7 Language - The origin of spoken language is shrouded in mystery and is still a much-debated topic by scholars across the globe. The origin of written language is also a topic of heated debate; however, most people agree that its earliest roots stem from ancient cave drawings, as they are man’s first attempt toward making a visual record of ideas. Much like many other things in this world, language has taken countless steps to evolve from the rudimentary grunts and cave drawings of antiquity into its present form. Humans have devised thousands of spoken and written languages, which are still currently in use today. Language has become ubiquitous within every corner of society in that we employ our verbiage for one main reason, to communicate our ideas with others.

6 Nature - Long gone are the days of our agrarian ancestors who built their lives around the understanding of the intricacies of nature. Civilization has taken a turn from its grassroots heritage and has spawned into the amalgamation of metropolises we live in today. Most people have displaced themselves from the natural world in favor of a more urbanized one. Although the city life does contain many positive aspects, like allowing people to connect within a cohesive network, it is not devoid of caveats. For example, people in general have become increasingly desensitized toward the world beyond their microcosms. As pollution begins to perpetuate through our forests and oceans, entire ecosystems could become ravaged and disfigured. The best thing to do is to appreciate what is ‘out there’ and realize that we are ‘a part’ of nature, and not ‘apart’ from it.

5 Cooking - What do chicken, pork, and nettles have in common? Yes, you guessed it; they all need to be cooked before they can be safely eaten. Cooking fires have been around for a large chunk of humanity as they extend as far back as 250,000 years into our past. In our contemporary era, cooking comprises not only of placing a slab of food over an open fire, but also boiling, steaming, frying, baking and virtually any other process that prepares food with the application of heat. Cooking allows us to take a once bacteria laden piece of meat, and rid it of all of its toxins. (To eat a piece of chicken or pork raw is no doubt a recipe for disaster). Over the years, we have become accustomed to the taste and texture of cooked foods and could not imagine eating said foods in their raw states. The knowledge accompanied by cooking has allowed us to expand our menus and to truly get a taste of the world around us.

4 Medicine - If you have ever had a cast, a splint, or even a vaccination, you have been introduced to the ways in which humanity uses its knowledge of medicine. Everything from blood pressure pills to eyeglasses can be considered forms of medicine. Frequently people forget the implications it has on us and other organisms. Veterinary medicine for instance, seeks to apply the medical knowledge procured throughout history in order to treat animals.

The art of medicine has advanced by leaps and bounds since the time of Hippocrates. From the archaic belief of the four humours, to the discovery of the smallpox vaccine (and even other future endeavors such as nano-technology), medicine has always been utilized for the outward benefit of humanity.

3 Power - Did you wake up to the sound of an alarm clock this morning? If you have, then chances are you’ve made use of electricity (unless you’re the type to still use a wind-up alarm clock). The presence of electricity has been around for far longer than humans have roamed the earth; in fact, the properties of electricity predate the earth itself, going back to the inception of the universe. However, it is the ability to harness electricity for our own benefit that is truly remarkable. We have electricity to thank for the operation of our computers, our central heating systems and even our alarm clocks (for most of us that is).

The modern world is riddled with electrical grids and power lines seeking to distribute functional electrical current to every nook and cranny of our households. The now commonplace notion that our planet is literally connected by a series of grids would appear ludicrous (or even supernatural) to our great-great-great grandparents. Ironically, we have them to thank for laying down the foundation for what is now a truly electrifying era.

2 Memory - The Internet? What’s that? What day is it today? What did I have for breakfast this morning? Most of you will not struggle to remember the answers to the aforementioned questions. That is because you are able to successfully draw upon past occurrences from your memory banks. Memory is still seen as somewhat of an enigma and is thus, not yet fully understood. The capabilities of human memory are as diverse as they are complex. Some people claim to have exceedingly powerful memories while others are hindered by neurological disability. Regardless of your position on the continuum of memory, there are still ways to keep yourself sharp and primed to the best of your abilities. For example, take a little time out of each day to exercise your memory and jog the old neurons for a bit. It could be something as simple as trying to remember the title of number 8 on this list, or something as ambitious as trying to remember the order of a randomized deck of cards.

Lastly, you must always remember that even “the dullest pencil is better than the sharpest memory.” – Mark Twain

If the thought is in danger of escaping you, make sure to write it down somewhere.

1 Imagination - Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the wealthiest person in the world? What about the smartest, fastest, or strongest? In fact, if you’ve ever wondered about anything, then you have been subjected to the maelstrom of your imagination. Without it, humanity would be reduced to nothing but a bunch of dull, languid belly-scratchers (okay, perhaps that statement was overly hyperbolic). Then again, without imagination, we would not have language, mathematics, medicine, or other such things on this list. We would not possess the desire to test the limits of our cunning minds nor contain the willpower to push the envelope of our physicality. Imagination is the ability to take a vague, amorphous concept and transform it into a tangible reality. It is something we have in all of us, waiting eagerly to be used to its fullest.

The science behind love at first sight

From the moment she set eyes on him, she adored him. Wanting only to be near him, to lavish her affection on him, she followed everywhere he went. The sound of his voice made her bark.

Bark? Novelist and animal behaviorist Elizabeth Marshall Thomas was describing her pug dog, Violet, who was in love with her other pug, Bingo.

Animals love. Animal literature is full of descriptions of love at first sight, actually. When Tia, a female elephant living in the Amboseli National Park in Kenya, came into heat (or estrus), she was followed by a coterie of young males. Tia would not cooperate. But the moment Bad Bull swaggered into view, head high, chin tucked in, ears intensely waving, trunk aloft, and doing his courtship strut, Tia changed her elephant mind. Holding her ears high in a pose meant to draw his attention, she stared at him with the prolonged “courting gaze,” then turned and began to move slowly away, glancing repeatedly to see if this mature male was following. Tia and Bad Bull remained inseparable for the duration of her estrus.

Instant attraction across the animal kingdom
Scientists and naturalists have recorded this instant attraction phenomenon in hundreds of species. Throatpatch and Priscilla, two orangutans; Alexander and Thalia, two baboons; Skipper and Laurel, two beavers; Misha and Maria, two Huskies; Satan and Miff, two chimps: these and many other creatures have taken an instant liking to one another. As Charles Darwin wrote of two ducks, “it was evidently a case of love at fist sight, for she swam about the newcomer caressingly… with overtures of affection.”

How we came to fall in love fast
You and I have inherited the brain circuitry for this instant attraction, what has become known as “love at first sight.” This spontaneous passion comes from our primordial past when, like other mammals, our female forebears had a monthly period of heat. Like all mammals that have only a few hours, days or weeks to procreate, these ancestors had to become attracted quickly. They couldn’t spend two months or two years discussing their suitor’s career and family plans. They had to meet and produce offspring fast.

Today, first meetings are still crucial. With little or no knowledge of this stranger, we tend to weigh heavily those few traits we first encounter. Based on these morsels of information, we almost instantly form a strong opinion of him or her, generally within the first three minutes. Thomas Jefferson fell in love with Maria Cosway in an afternoon, probably within minutes of meeting.

Who falls faster: the male or the female?
Indeed, men tend to fall in love faster than women do, probably because their brain circuitry for romantic love is more quickly triggered by visual cues. But any of us can walk into a crowded room, talk for only minutes with a someone new, and either feel that “chemistry” — or “know” there could be chemistry down the road.

But is this attraction love or lust? Actually, these feelings involve very different brain networks. You can have physical intimacy with someone you are not “in love” with, and you can be passionately in love with someone you have never kissed. But these brain circuits can trigger one another, leaving you wondering for a moment if your attraction is purely physical.

Can immediate attraction last?
You will know if your passion is love or lust with your answer to just one simple question: “What percentage of the day and night do you think about him or her?” Romantic love is an obsession. It can happen in a moment, but when it strikes, you can’t get your new beloved off your mind. And this instant passion can last — sometimes for many years.

“The loving are the daring,” wrote poet Bayard Taylor. We are all daring; we can’t help ourselves. Millions of years ago humanity evolved three powerful brain systems for courtship and reproduction: the libido, romantic attraction, and feelings of deep attachment. The libido evolved to drive us to reproduce with a range of partners, but romantic love evolved to enable us to focus our energy on just one, The One. This passion is intricately orchestrated, at least in part, by the activity of a powerful chemical, dopamine. And this potent brain circuit lies dormant in each of us, sleeping like a cat with one eye open, waiting for the right moment to erupt.

Indeed, feelings of intense romantic passion can awaken the first moment you see someone who fits within your mental concept of the perfect partner — love at first sight.

Sincerity and Truth don’t Mix

Sincerity is an aspect of our emotions. It is a feeling that empowers the will and fuels the capacity to believe. Truth on the other hand, is an unchanging fact that has nothing to do with the will, or emotions.

Sincerity won’t change the fact that the road is closed

When the World tells us to shrug it off

We always hear that phrase “It doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you are sincere.” I am moved to think that it is the new modern philosophical approach to religion. Don’t you agree?

Religion has been looked-down and frowned upon by our world today. It is known as one of the dividing factors of the nations and of the hearts of people. Religion has been equated to an evil thing, an antagonist and a very boring and dull, unnecessary barrier to a life of freedom, fun and one-ness.

It can even be said that the world religion is now some sort of a taboo word that you don’t mention in parties and social gatherings.

So we come up with this “As long as you’re sincere” saying in order for us to easily shrug off the idea of religion and faith. Instead of having that desire and passion to push to know what’s true and what’s not, we are inclined to just push the topic of religion aside.

Be a man

The phrase “it doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you’re sincere” is a phrase that is clearly for cowards. It does not want to have anything to do with the truth, nor is it true. It does not have anything to do with logic, nor is it logical.

Take this story for example:

There is a sign in the side of the road that says “Road Closed. Danger Ahead!”

If you keep on going because you sincerely believe with all your heart that the sign is wrong and the road is fine, you will most probably end up dead. Does it make you sincere? Hell yeah! Does it change the fact that the road ahead is dangerous? Hell no. Truth will stand and your sincerity will not change the fact in itself – no, not one bit.

Making the phrase “It doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you’re sincere” your motto makes you stupid because you’re lazy to think. It makes you a coward because you’re comfortable with what you already know and where you are in your knowledge of salvation and heaven and religion. It doesn’t make you human. Because a human is curious and will look for answers and the truth. No, it makes you less than that, it makes you a liar to your own self.

Sincerity won’t save you. Desire to know the truth. Truth Matters. This world is run by truths and laws and order. Know the truths behind it. Don’t be sincere. Be curious. Curious enough to pursue truth written in the Word of God.

Is it always easy to treat others as you wish to be treated?